WHY?
" 'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart.." Jeremiah 1:5.
"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The LORD is my portion, therefore I will wait for him.'" Lamentations 3:22-24
Oh my, as I sit to try and type what is so heavy in my heart, I feel that I have to claim these promises, because I don't feel them. Yesterday, Kit's dear friend/track mate/college roommate was told he has brain cancer. He is 39. He is vibrant, and loving, a father of 4 beautiful boys/young men, and husband to an amazing wife. He is a son of God. He loves the Lord, and is raising his family to love the Lord. He has been an example to us about the importance of making the most of every minute. He has an amazing sense of humor, and can tell a story so well that while you listen, you are immediately transported to a cattle drive campfire, with cattle men of old, drinking a cup of strong coffee, and laughing so hard, your sides hurt. He is young, and life feels like it has just started. He is not supposed to have brain cancer.
Kit and I often find ourselves thinking, "we are in the deep end now." No longer children in our bodies or our minds. We are in the world of big decisions, big responsibilities, and realities that we don't always understand. Sometimes the deep end is fun and exciting. But yesterday, and today, it is not fun. It hurts. We have questions like, "Why can Kit read his sons bedtime stories tonight, but Rob can't?" "Why is this happening to them, they have always done everything right?" "Why would God allow this pain in their lives?" "What if He allows it in ours?" "Why that kind of tumor, in that part of his brain...what if he can't speak normally again?" "Why would someone so young, and so vibrant, and so lovely have to walk this horrible road?" "WHY?????!!!!????" And the answers are not for us to know on this side of eternity. There is no instant gratification, there is no gratification on earth. There is no easy answer. So as I type, and cry, I only know that in the deep end, we are not consumed, we are not drowned, because the Lord is our portion and strength. Nothing surprises Him. He is still God when we don't understand. He is still God even when we cannot understand. He is in the deep water waiting for us, and He will not leave us.
My prayer today, is that our sweet friends will know that God is with them. That every minute together will last and last, and that they will feel God in each minute. That the surgeon will have supernaturally guided hands as he removes the tumor this afternoon. That words and speech will return to this wonderful son of God. That they can know that even when "why?" has no answer, that God is still in control. I pray that a miracle will happen, because I believe that God is the God of miracles.
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart.." Jeremiah 1:5.
"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The LORD is my portion, therefore I will wait for him.'" Lamentations 3:22-24
Oh my, as I sit to try and type what is so heavy in my heart, I feel that I have to claim these promises, because I don't feel them. Yesterday, Kit's dear friend/track mate/college roommate was told he has brain cancer. He is 39. He is vibrant, and loving, a father of 4 beautiful boys/young men, and husband to an amazing wife. He is a son of God. He loves the Lord, and is raising his family to love the Lord. He has been an example to us about the importance of making the most of every minute. He has an amazing sense of humor, and can tell a story so well that while you listen, you are immediately transported to a cattle drive campfire, with cattle men of old, drinking a cup of strong coffee, and laughing so hard, your sides hurt. He is young, and life feels like it has just started. He is not supposed to have brain cancer.
Kit and I often find ourselves thinking, "we are in the deep end now." No longer children in our bodies or our minds. We are in the world of big decisions, big responsibilities, and realities that we don't always understand. Sometimes the deep end is fun and exciting. But yesterday, and today, it is not fun. It hurts. We have questions like, "Why can Kit read his sons bedtime stories tonight, but Rob can't?" "Why is this happening to them, they have always done everything right?" "Why would God allow this pain in their lives?" "What if He allows it in ours?" "Why that kind of tumor, in that part of his brain...what if he can't speak normally again?" "Why would someone so young, and so vibrant, and so lovely have to walk this horrible road?" "WHY?????!!!!????" And the answers are not for us to know on this side of eternity. There is no instant gratification, there is no gratification on earth. There is no easy answer. So as I type, and cry, I only know that in the deep end, we are not consumed, we are not drowned, because the Lord is our portion and strength. Nothing surprises Him. He is still God when we don't understand. He is still God even when we cannot understand. He is in the deep water waiting for us, and He will not leave us.
My prayer today, is that our sweet friends will know that God is with them. That every minute together will last and last, and that they will feel God in each minute. That the surgeon will have supernaturally guided hands as he removes the tumor this afternoon. That words and speech will return to this wonderful son of God. That they can know that even when "why?" has no answer, that God is still in control. I pray that a miracle will happen, because I believe that God is the God of miracles.
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