Doing a New Thing

In the early months after the night that literally changed the trajectory of our lives I was really struggling with all of the ways that our lives had changed. I was grieving the loss of pain-free living for Naomi as well as the loss of nightmare-free sleep for me. Our family had been shaken, and God was working in our lives. His provision was constantly evident and yet I was still grieving the loss of the lives we had before being hit by a drunk driver. As is so often the case in life, pain and growth were juxtaposed to one another.  

One of my dear friends sent me this verse during that time, “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; NOW it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I WILL make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” Isaiah 43:18-19 Some days and weeks in the following years (and even now, honestly) it took all of my will to trust that God was in fact doing something new. I literally clung to the verses outlined (and then re-outlined) in my Bible throughout my life; “I will NEVER leave you or forsake you…” “For we know that in ALL things God works for the good for those who love Him…” “I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for good and not for evil, to give you HOPE and a FUTURE…” These promises didn’t feel true so I held them closely, trusting God to keep His word. 

Watching our child suffer for years has often stifled my ability to hope. Long hours of the night have been spent in tears and raw prayers, pleading with God to give her relief. And God has been faithful to never leave her, nor forsake, and He has been with her while she has suffered. He has brought to reality beautiful and hopeful plans for her life. And she has continued to struggle; albeit some days are less struggle than others, none of her days are easy. When we learned about Ehlers Danlos Syndrome(EDS) I initially felt such relief because we finally had an answer as to why she continued to suffer, when a normal teenager would have been long recovered. That relief was short-lived as I went about learning everything I could about this new discovery so that I could advocate for the best medical treatments for her. EDS is a genetic collagen disorder and along with the soft skin and loose joints it comes with the risk of some pretty troublesome health realities. Somewhere between starting to learn about EDS for Naomi in 2018 and today, I have begun to treat and diagnose patients with EDS. I have 750-800 people now that I care for with EDS, and there are over 250 waiting to be seen; all on top of the full Family Medicine practice that I also have. 

Enter at least one of “the new things”: After 15 years of working for St. Vincent Healthcare (which became SCL and is now Intermountain Health), Kit and I have decided it is time to move forward with our own clinic, Charis Health-Primary Care & Hypermobility. The start of this clinic was a dream that I am convinced God created for us as I am not a “do-a-new-thing” girl. God knows (and Kit is clearly aware) that I am a “do-the-comfortable-and-known-thing” girl. I love a plan and a pathway; preferably one that has been done by many people before me and involves low risk. But since we were rescued eight and half years ago, and our lives started over in some ways, God has done this new thing in me; I enjoy His plans more than my ability to see a pathway. So here we are, opening Charis Health in January. This is such a beautiful work for the good from such a horrible incident. God has not ever left us and as we have stepped out in faith to get this practice up and going He has been so evidently present along the way. 

Our graphic logo encompasses so much of our journey to get here. Light rising in the midst of each step has been a part of how God has blessed us. No matter how difficult our days have been, or seemingly dark at times, God has provided light for each step and has not expected us to wait for light at the end of the journey. Hope has risen each day. We have not had to stumble around in the dark in the last eight and a half years.  I pray that as a medical provider I can help my patients by providing light along medical journeys that can feel so very hopeless or dark. 

The pine cone pattern holds quite a bit of meaning as well. Science, mathematics and symmetry are found in the pinecone as it is shaped in a Fibonacci spiral, which is used all throughout creation. At our core, Kit and I are total nerds, and this fits us both perfectly: mathematical themes in nature are just really cool. In these last months I have found myself feeling a bit overwhemed on this seemingly unknown business venture (I made it through college with ZERO business classes).  In those moments of uncertainty, I have continued to rely on the truth that God is with me and NOTHING is unknown to Him.  He has repeatedly been faithful, and He will continue to be. The Fibonacci is repeated throughout all of nature…and God’s faithfulness is His repeated pattern. I can rest in the pattern of His nature.  Lastly, pinecones open up in fire, and the forest can regrow after devastation. The Stewart family has been rebuilt out of the ashes of who we once were. We are walking as a family together through regrowth and newness still today. 

Charis Health is a part of the good that God began March 31, 2017. He was working in our lives to bring about something new, and to bring about good in a season that felt anything but good to us. He has been faithful.  His beautiful repeating pattern of faithfulness will continue to carry us now.  We are so excited to begin.