Happy Shine Bright Day!

 

At the time we certainly didn’t see dinner that night for what I now believe it really was.  Kit and I had such a fun dinner with our girls, March 31, 2017.  We laughed and chatted and deeply enjoyed the gift of being together.  The food was great, but it’s funny that today I don’t remember anything about what we ate.  I only remember how precious that dinner was.  I remember how Faith’s four year old body snuggled up to me while we waited; she was warm and assured of herself.  I remember Mimi’s exuberance about the family of bunnies outside and Kit’s smile.  Naomi laughed off and on throughout the dinner.  It was so sweet that I took pictures of what would otherwise have just been a mundane dinner.  Knowing now that just hours later our lives would be forever changed, I look back at that dinner as sort of a celebration.  It was a moment of delight in our lives that had been so good up to that point.  In almost every way the people at that table were about to become new;  like a cosmic “Life Reset” button was about to be pressed.  And unbeknownst to us that dinner was a perfect send off and farewell to all that had been before.  It was to become our very first Shine Bright Day.

Shine Bright Day!  Today is our 4th birthday of sorts.  Four years of living a second, or bonus life.  Each minute seems like a gift.  And each day I am reminded of God’s good promise He made to me that night.  When I stood in the dark next to our demolished Expedition I could feel the brokenness in my body.  Not knowing where Kit was, or if he was alive, and wondering if I was going to bleed to death internally I cried out to God audibly, “I’m scared.”  And as clear as if He was speaking right into my ear I heard, “Surely, you will see goodness in the land of the LIVING!”  So I kept taking steps forward, in extreme uncertainty, towards whatever was ahead.  He has been FAITHFUL to that promise, every single minute since that night. You know the story by now...Kit wasn’t dead, miraculously he wasn’t even critically injured after being thrown more than 70 feet from the back window.  He even got to have a forehead lift, or two, or three out of the whole thing! (Kit, is it too soon to laugh about that yet?)  

And for four years I have continued to take one step after the next, trusting God for that promise.  We have walked through so many dark moments since then.  Naomi’s life was reset onto a track that includes unrelenting chronic pain, multiple horrible surgeries, months away from home, procedures, therapies and brokenness.  And even in that, God has provided each step of the way to meet each need.  Just this morning we found out that she is approved for a single room in her college dorm with an attached BATHTUB!!!!!  If you struggle with chronic pain you know the absolute relief of an epsom salt warm bath.  She and I both feel like God just reached straight out Heaven this morning and gave her a sweet little kiss of tender mercy!  

Because of her new changes in life I have become a doctor who is willing to step into incredibly complicated lives and help patients who live with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome.  Each week I meet new fabulous people with EDS who need someone to advocate alongside them and for them; and I get the great honor of being that “Zebra” Doc.  The awful we have faced at home with Naomi has been turned into good for others...which doesn’t make each minute any better for her, but does allow some goodness to come from the mess.  Funny, now that I think of it, I felt completely helpless 4 years ago, incapable of fixing anything for us and God was there doing all that we needed and more; I just had to take the next step.  That is still true today.  I often feel completely inadequate to help these patients, and God continues to be faithful and expand my knowledge as long as I just keep taking the next step.  

Kit doesn’t remember much about the wreck, except feeling that he was safe and that he could come back to us.  He did, and his life exemplifies the life of man who enjoys every moment and the people he is with.  He loves in action, gives of himself, and awakens every morning reminded that this day is another bonus day.  Not much has ever rattled him, and still doesn’t; but rather than his confidence being in his abilities, he now walks in the full confidence that God simply isn’t done with his life, and God will work out exactly where he needs to be and when.  It is a gift to spend time with him, because he’s never really rushed to be anywhere else, as he drinks in the fullness of each encounter.  I’m so glad that he’s my partner in this life.  

Faith is going to grow into her name one of these days.  Sweet baby, she faces fear every day.  Fear that someone will leave her, or that she will experience loss.  I wonder how it felt to be 4 and crawl around in the dark on shattered glass trying to find her daddy after she watched him be ejected.  Suddenly her security in the world left her.  She asked me to add “being brave” on her dreams and goals list for this year.  I am believing that as she grows and learns more about God and how much He loves her, she will recognize that being brave isn’t about lacking fear.  Being brave is walking forward in spite of fear.  Doing that will require all the faith God can give her, and her story isn’t even close to being done.  So when I hold her through her worries about her guinea pig dying, or the chicken coop burning (yep, that happened this week...total loss, chicken death, tractor destroyed, middle of the night, 60+ mph winds, NIGHTMARE), or the Yellowstone volcano erupting, I choose to cling to God’s promise.  I will see goodness in the land of the living in Faith’s life as well.  She is going to be one brave, mighty warrior someday with an unshakable faith that God is working for the good in all things, even the really hard moments. 

Thankfully Mimi doesn’t hold memories of 4 years ago.  She is a fighter, and her life was spared to become a champion for someone I’m certain.  For now we continue to pray that God will help her learn to temper her zeal, at least a little bit.  As “I will fight you tomorrow,” or “I will kill you, I’m serious,” doesn’t really win many friends most days.  

So today, to celebrate Shine Bright Day, I spent a lovely hour sitting in the front window of my favorite restaurant.  Soaking up the sun, and reading amazing books, I slowly ate breakfast and thanked God for keeping His word.  Funny enough, I have started collecting house plants again, something that had long passed with the introduction of children into our house.  Having plants in the house feels like one of the most optimistic things I’ve done in a very long time.  I’m going to re-pot a new one today, and exercise.   Kit is at the zoo with our littles, and my oldest kids are scattered about enjoying their days.  It’s mundane, and it’s perfect, because today is another bonus day.  Our 4th birthday into life reset.   

And here is one more promise of God that I am clinging to, “ Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you....Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old.  BEHOLD, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?  I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”  Is 43: 1-2, 18-19.